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25 April 2010 @ 11:01 am
Thanks for all your amazing recipe ideas! I ended up making a dish from one of my favorite cooking blogs, Cheap Healthy Good. We already had everything on hand except for the chickpeas, the vegetable broth, and the wheat gluten, plus a loaf of bread, costing me a grand total of $4.43 and making 8 sandwiches. WOO!

Chickpea Cutlets
Makes 4 cutlets.

1 cup chickpeas
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ cup vital wheat gluten
½ cup oatmeal, food-processed to breadcrumb consistency (or ½ c plain breadcrumbs)
¼ cup vegetable broth or water (I used Better than Bouillon)
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 garlic cloves, pressed or grated
½ teaspoon lemon zest
½ teaspoon dried thyme
½ teaspoon paprika (I used hot, and it was great)
¼ teaspoon dried sage
Olive oil or cooking spray for baking or pan-frying

0) If you will be oven-baking these, preheat your oven to 375.

1) In a medium bowl, combine chickpeas and olive oil. With a big spoon and/or fork (plus a little muscle), mash them together until all the chickpeas are broken apart.

2) In a separate small bowl, combine dry ingredients: gluten, oatmeal, thyme, paprika, sage.

3) In another small bowl, combine wet ingredients: broth, garlic, lemon zest.

4) Dump both dry and wet ingredients into the chickpea mixture. Knead about 3 minutes or so, "until strings of gluten have formed."

5) Divide your dough into quarters. Flatten each piece until it's a patty roughly the size of your flat hand.

TO PAN-FRY: Heat a large skillet over medium heat and coat lightly with olive oil. Cook cutlets about 12 to 15 minutes, flipping once halfway through. When finished, they should be browned and patty-esque in texture.

TO BAKE: Grab a baking sheet and lightly oil or coat it with cooking spray. Then, "brush both sides of each cutlet with olive oil" (or spray with cooking spray – you get the idea here). Pop in the oven for 20 minutes. Flip once and bake 8 or 10 more minutes. When finished, they should be browned and patty-esque in texture

Approximate Calories, Fat, Fiber, and Price per Cutlet
246 calories, 8.2g fat, 3.8g fiber, $0.65

1 cup chickpeas: 286 calories, 2.7g fat, 10.6g fiber, $.50
2 tablespoons olive oil: 239 calories, 27g fat, 0g fiber, $.24
½ cup vital wheat gluten: 280 calories, 0g fat, 0g fiber, $.82
½ cup oatmeal: 150 calories, 3g fat, 4g fiber, $0.15
¼ cup vegetable broth: 1 calorie, 0g fat, 0g fiber, $.05
2 tablespoons soy sauce: 18 calories, 0g fat, .3g fiber, $.21
2 garlic cloves: 10 calories, 0 g fat, 0.1 g fiber, $0.10
½ teaspoon lemon zest: negligible calories and fat, 0.1g fiber, $.50
½ teaspoon dried thyme: negligible calories, fat, and fiber, $.02
½ teaspoon paprika: negligible calories, fat, and fiber, $.02
¼ teaspoon dried sage: negligible calories, fat, and fiber, $.02
TOTAL: 984 calories, 32.7g fat, 15.1g fiber, $2.63
PER CUTLET (TOTAL/4): 246 calories, 8.2g fat, 3.8g fiber, $0.65
24 April 2010 @ 02:26 pm
Anyone know any ridiculously cheap recipes? I have $12 to feed myself and Jason from now until Monday evening. We've already gone through most of the emergency-pantry-food, so I'm honestly thinking I'll just have to get 2 bags of spaghetti/2 jars of pasta and ration it out very carefully. Stupid lapse in paycheck.
11 March 2010 @ 11:08 am
There will be a Hedwig and the Angry Inch showing and sing-along next Thursday at the Bagdad. Anyone interested in going?

Greetings, Maker of Company Decisions!

I see from your recent Craigslist ad that you are looking to hire an office worker. While almost anyone could perform the duties expected of your average entry-level administrative person, I would like to present you with an alternative proposal.

My name is Typsie O'Malley, and I am a local actress who will accurately portray an office worker for 40 hours a week in a location of your choosing. I have trained for over a decade with experienced actors in learning all the finer points of recreating office culture: the language, mannerisms, routines, etc.

You may be asking yourself, why an actress? Why not just hire Jim or Susan, regular office workers? The answer, my friend, is enhanced substance. Jim and Susan may serve you dutifully, but they will never feel obligated to amuse you. They will volunteer too much - or too little - of their personal lives. You won't care what they have to say, and you will grow weary of feigning interest in their mundane lives. You will realize, years down the road, possibly while intoxicated at the company Christmas party, that Jim and Susan have become, to you, less than human.

And that's where I come in. When you find your to-do list getting a little thin, you can count on me to provide entertainment until you are called back to your duties. I will create a character - tentatively named Typsie O'Malley, but I am flexible with naming - with a rich backstory full of hopes and dreams, love lost, childhood misfortunes, inner turmoil, epic travel through time and space, and unexpected victories. You can get to know me without ever having to deal with the messy business of getting to know me. My many years of practice at improvisation have allowed me to carry on whole conversations, completely off the cuff, while staying in character.

Moreover, I can easily adapt my "story" to suit your tastes, whether your preference be comedy, tragedy, romance, science-fiction, or political drama. As an added bonus, you will get to see my character's story unfold before you. The longer you keep me on your payroll, the more of the plot you will get to see played out. If you like, at the end of each day, I can give a summary of the day's events and a preview of what might happen tomorrow.

My portrayal will be realistic down to the last detail, including actually performing any clerical tasks you may need me to complete. I have practiced duties such as typing, filing, and computer work, so as to maximize the quality of my performance. Not only this, but I will complete these tasks while remaining in character the entire time! My presentation will be so authentic that you may even forget I am an actress. Whether your company is large or small, no matter what the industry, I can fulfill your need for a resident office actress.

I understand my proposition is unusual, but I assure you that it is entirely sincere - or at least that I'm acting that way in a convincing manner. As you review the approximately 15,000 applicants for this position, ask yourself: do I want a robot, or do I want an artist?

I encourage you to think outside the box (unless you hate that phrase) and consider my services.

Mostly Sincerely,

19 February 2010 @ 03:22 pm
A woman came up to me and said, "I'd like to poison your mind
With wrong ideas that appeal to you, though I am not unkind."
She looked at me, I looked at something written across her scalp,
And these are the words that it faintly said as I tried to call for help:

There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well
And that's be you, be what you're like, be like yourself,
And so I'm having a wonderful time, but I'd rather be whistling in the dark.

A man came up to me and said, "I'd like to change your mind
By hitting it with a rock," he said, "though I am not unkind."
We laughed at his little joke and then I happily walked away
And hit my head on the wall of the jail where the two of us live today.

There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well
And that's be you, be what you're like, be like yourself,
And so I'm having a wonderful time, but I'd rather be whistling in the dark.
Current Music: TMBG stuck in my head
17 February 2010 @ 10:07 am
Last night, me and dark_knightly hatched a plan (inspired by krazyfelioness, as you might have guessed) to hand out bubble wrap in some public location, perhaps Pioneer Square. Because hey, I figure everyone's day could probably be brightened a bit with the addition of free bubble wrap.

Good idea, Y/N?
11 February 2010 @ 03:18 pm
Scallops and couscous tonight. Rockband tomorrow. Cartfoods Saturday. Romantic dinner Sunday. Job interview Monday. Lots of wine and kisses in between.

For once, everything feels right.
02 February 2010 @ 03:48 pm
Retrieved a couple icons from my old LJs.

Like this one from Dragon Half that praenomenal made for me years ago, which happens to pretty accurately describe my mood today.
26 January 2010 @ 01:51 am
Outsider art? Social satire? Religious propaganda? Celebrity commentary? Pugicorns? Julie Newmar? Slut-Cream Shope????

*weeps furiously*

My favorite:

"Hellcat whooping my manager for not letting me pass out chick tracks to those sick people in the bar who obviously need a lot of christ time in their lives."

Etsy profile
Tags: ,
22 January 2010 @ 12:24 pm
Does anyone happen to have an extra set of computer speakers laying around? They don't have to be nice ones or anything, just functional. The ones hooked up to my piano stopped working randomly and I'm supposed to do some music this weekend, kinda hard without speakers. :)

I can probably even pick them up tomorrow morning if you are easily Tri-Met accessible.
21 January 2010 @ 12:28 pm
20 January 2010 @ 01:20 am
Kinda loving this post by slug_life about long-forgotten 90's songs.

I just spent the last half hour being temporally transported back to my freshman year of high school.
15 January 2010 @ 02:42 pm
I mentioned a few days ago that I've been following the Prop 8 fiasco on http://prop8trialtracker.com .

A lawyer representing ProtectMarriage.com (aka the Prop 8 people) sent a cease-and-desist to the Courage Campaign (the people running the Trial Tracker website), claiming their logo looks too much like the Prop 8 logo:

But what really gets me is the hilarious response letter written by the CC's lawyer, which includes this brilliant observation:

“While our client does appreciate the irony of the suggestion in your letter that a logo of a family made up of a man, a woman, and two children is “substantially indistinguishable” from a logo of a family made up of two women and two children, your assertion is incorrect.”

Read both letters here
15 January 2010 @ 10:11 am
It's no secret: I love Groupon. If you haven't seen it, it's sort of like Woot but for local businesses (not just for Portland, but for many cities). Ever since sandra_e used it to buy me and the doomies a one-year zipcar membership as a gift, I've been faithfully checking it everyday and have since bought 3 more deals.

One of the really awesome things is that for each new client you refer, you get $10 of credit to the site. So I posted my link on a DP thread about yesterday's deal (Sock Dreams!!) and got a whopping FIVE referrals from it! So I now have $50 in credit, to spend on future deals as I please. :D

I highly recommend the site. You can get notified of the daily deal via email, Facebook, or Twitter. If you choose to sign up and buy something, and you feel like making me squee with delight, you can use my referral link: http://www.groupon.com/r/uu614233
12 January 2010 @ 05:15 pm
Just got back from the Portland Dermatology Clinic. I went in thinking I would just get a consultation and would have to make an appointment for the actual procedure, but as it happens they were having a slow day and offered to do it right then and there. I was surprised to find that the procedure didn't really hurt at all, just felt really... weird. Weird enough that I almost blacked out at one point. But the whole thing was over and done in about 20 minutes.

So the cyst on my neck, the one I carried around for 12 years, is finally gone. I'm hoping it will leave a cool scar. I don't have nearly enough scars.

Afterwards, I strolled over to Skinnidip and procured some frozen yogurt with blueberries as a reward.
11 January 2010 @ 04:20 pm
I've been refreshing the Prop 8 Trial Tracker for most of the day today. Some of the testimony is heartbreaking, like this dialogue from Sandy, whose marriage to Kristen Perry was nullified when Prop 8 passed:

O: How convinced are you that you are gay? You lived with a husband. Some people would say it’s this, then it’s that and now it’s this.

S: I’ve only been in love once and that’s with Perry. I’m 47. I know. I’m a plaintiff this case because I would like to get married and to marry the person that I choose and that’s Kris Perry and California law prevents that.

O: As a parent of four children, you have strong sense of what it means to be a good parent. Would your boys be better off with a man in the house?

S: The most important and best thing for kids is to feel loved. If I could marry, I’d think I was building a good world for our kids. I want our kids to have a better world than we have. I want the possibility of having grandchildren who are okay no matter whom they fall in love with. As someone from one of the most conservative pockets in the country, I see how important this is. I hope for something for Kris and I, but we’re big, strong women. We’d benefit greatly, but others over time would benefit in a more profound, life-changing way.

Interesting stuff. I wish this was all being televised, but at least it's being well-covered by bloggers.
Wow, just... wow. A guy rewrote the ENTIRETY of The Big Lebowski in the style of Shakespeare. It is amazingly brilliant, and somehow even funnier than the original.


Was it I, sir, who urinated on your rug?

Not in person, sir—but if a man is his name, and his reputation his indelible inkstain, surely thy sea of care is tormented; what tongue shall smooth thy name?

Make me to understand, sir, for you are slow of speech as I of step, and I am unsatisfied in motive. When any rug is micturated upon within these city walls, must I stand accountable? Or are you as one of a thousand rogues, fishing for sixpence betwixt another man’s pursestrings? Are you a labourer, Master Lebowski, earning that you eat, getting that you wear?

Let me not to the marriage of false impressions deny impediments. I am not Master Lebowski; thou art Master Lebowski. I am the Knave, called the Knave. Or His Knaveness, or mayhap Knaver, or mayhap El Knaverino, in the manner of the Spaniard, if brevity be not in thy soul nor wit. A Knave by any other name would abide just as well.

Have you employment, sir? Surely you hope not to pledge fealty nor till the earth in such roughly fashioned armour, invested in thy motley, clad as a jack-a-dandy on a Sunday?

I know not; what week-day, friends, is this?

Two Gentlemen of Lebowski

I wonder how much it would violate copyright to put this on as a stage show.
05 January 2010 @ 11:50 am
Something tells me it might not be the best idea to have the same person acting as both your Bartender and your Bookkeeper.

04 January 2010 @ 12:13 pm
So last night, the doomies and I sucked up our pride and rented Twilight. Don't get scared, it's not because I'm a fan. Quite the contrary, in fact. It's one of those things that I just can't understand the widespread appeal of (see also: Lady Gaga, reality shows, Old Navy). But I figure that if you're going to really loathe something, you should at least be familiar with it first. So we sat down with a bottle of rum and a heap of snark, and actually watched the whole thing.

As I watched, I tried to puzzle through what it is about these books that has so many women so hopelessly addicted. I have met people who are intelligent and well-read, many who will even openly admit that these books are total crap, and yet they can't get enough of them.

Keep in mind that I have not read any of the books, nor seen the sequel. My assessment is solely based on one viewing of this film. So if you're a fan, please feel free to correct any of my assumptions, and please try not to get too offended.

Side note: I used to be a pretty huge Buffy fan, so I totally get the sexy-vampire thing. However, on Buffy, the heroine had a sense of purpose, an immediately apparent inner strength. Plus, whenever she had romantic entanglements with the undead, there was the implicit tension resulting from the fact that she was supposed to be, you know, killing them and stuff.

my thoughts on the movie and its fansCollapse )

Also: wtf vampire baseball lol.
16 December 2009 @ 02:56 pm
This was an entry on Boing Boing's 100-word fiction competition "Found in Space" and it touched my geeky little heart:

10 INPUT "Please enter your username: ", U$

20 IF U$ != "Amanda" THEN GOTO 160

30 PRINT "My dearest Amanda,"

40 PRINT "I thought I'd never see you again."

50 PRINT "You've grown."

60 PRINT "I guess I've stayed the same."

70 PRINT "I may not be everything you want me to be."

80 PRINT "But I loved you first, and I loved you best."

90 PRINT "There was a time you loved me, too."

110 INPUT "Come back to me? ", A$

120 IF A$ = "N" OR A$ = "n" THEN GOTO 150

130 PRINT " <3 <3 <3 "

140 GOTO 130

150 END

160 PRINT "Invalid username: "; U$

170 PRINT "You cannot access this space."

180 GOTO 10

It reminds me of how I used to write journaling programs in BASIC so that I could password-protect all my omgdeepthoughts (at age 8). Call it proto-blogging, except with no audience. I wish I still had those diaries somewhere, although I doubt the 5 1/4" floppies they were saved on would do me much good now.
08 December 2009 @ 05:01 pm
An old friend just sent me a poem I wrote in approximately 1995 (when I was 14/15), which he apparently carried around in his wallet for years. I'm not sure my writing skills have improved very much since then. I'm definitely less emo, though. Except the term "emo" didn't exist back then.

yes, hero

i admit i've watched from
distances, combed his thread
wondered what was in his head

black, he thought
what horrible evil could corrupt my
ability to watch the sunrise?

poor sweet boy, she lamented
what makes him see that dirty
hospital as such a

it's normal, you tell yourself proudly
teenage rebelliousness, pointless

i meditated blankly on shreds of
psychology i'd collected over
as i sat and stared wall to wall

he stared too, downward, dear
god what blindfold is so

maybe someday i'll see, i say
maybe someday he'll see, you say
maybe someday we'll see, she says
maybe someday they'll see, he says

he looks down at his healing wrist
scars and softly says
maybe tomorrow
08 December 2009 @ 01:18 pm
Reminder: I will be in Fresno for one night, Saturday the 19th. Please contact me if you'd like to see me.
08 December 2009 @ 10:43 am
Last night, against all sense of rationality, we went out to the Portland International Raceway, where there is an elaborate Christmas light display. They open it up to bike riders and close it to cars for one night, and the place is less than a mile from the Casa, so we bundled ourselves up in many layers, filled a thermos with coffee and rum, and rode out into the 23-degree night to meet up with a bunch of smiley rosy-cheeked folks and look at the pretty lights.

It wasn't nearly as impressive as some displays I've seen (including Christmas Tree Lane in my much-despised hometown), and possibly not worth the $5/bike admission fee, but it was still funtimes. There was free hot chocolate and cookies, and lots of people had strung lights all over their bikes. One guy had wrapped his bike all in garland and hung tiny stockings from it, so adorable.

I love those evenings when we nearly back out and stay home, but decide at the last minute to push through and get off our asses. Still, I don't think I'll be riding my bike very much this month.
04 December 2009 @ 03:54 pm
Huh. Ended up doing a bunch of research on different forms of wordplay, based on doteatop's comment wondering if there's a term for the particular sort of pun used on my aforementioned shirt ideas. Haven't exactly found one yet, but I did find out something interesting:

The phrase "That's what she said" is pretty much everywhere these days. Most people think it originated from The Office. Others sneer smugly proclaim that it actually comes from Wayne's World.

But they're both wrong! The first known form of this joke (which is technically a type of Wellerism) was seen in a 1928 novel called Meet - The Tiger!, except the phrasing was a bit classier: "...said the actress to the bishop."
03 December 2009 @ 03:58 pm
I came up with this shirt idea last night, found an image, and had my girl praenomenal design it. Just bought one and it's on the way. Merry Christmas to meeee!

(It will look more awesome in person but you get the idea.)

If you dig it, you can buy your very own here.
02 December 2009 @ 09:45 am
26 November 2009 @ 12:25 am
My official Thanksgiving breakfast is raw (no egg) cookie dough topped with marshmallows, eaten with a fork and served at 12:25 AM.
23 November 2009 @ 11:27 pm
Exciting news for any of you who happen to be fans...

Got an email tonight from archmage informing me that the new documentary about Gogol Bordello (they play gypsy punk and are one of the most awesomely energetic and original bands to emerge in recent years in my opinion) will be playing at the Hollywood Theatre this weekend. I was thinking of catching the matinee at 1:00 Sunday afternoon.


Anyone interested in going?
16 November 2009 @ 02:11 pm
I keep getting ideas for songs, writing one or two verses, and then realizing I don't have much else to say on the matter. Which is never true, of course, but I keep hitting this block over and over again. So far, I've started songs about:

- Quantum entanglement
- Cryopreservation
- Escape velocity
- Pareidolia

Plus, there's that ever-so-frustrating Sea of Dirac, a song that may never actually reach a final arrangement - only drawing closer with time, but never achieving completion, a la Zeno's dichotomy paradox (which would also make a very good song).

It's even funnier because I don't really know anything about any of these topics. I was never good at science, yet it fascinates me, so I just use these subjects loosely as metaphors.
12 November 2009 @ 10:24 am
I just ordered a VHS off Amazon, another achievement in my ongoing quest to track down all the super-obscure films I was a fan of as a child.

You probably know this about me if we've spent any time together, but I'm one of those people who managed to miss pretty much all major films in the 1980s. It's only been in the last 5 years that I've finally see The Breakfast Club and the Indiana Jones movies. Still haven't seen any of the Back to the Futures. The list goes on.

Yet I had a handful of films that I watched obsessively, most taped from TV onto Betamax. I've managed to procure Unico 1 & 2, Manx Mouse, and the weird anime version of The Wizard of Oz with Eileen Quinn as the voice of Dorothy.

Today I ordered another one: A one-hour 1983 PBS special - a Sesame Street movie called Don't Eat the Pictures, wherein the characters get locked inside a museum overnight and have a trippy romp through the paintings. The main plot involves Big Bird and Snuffleupagus trying to help the spirit of a young Egyptian prince solve a riddle (posed by a demon played by James Mason) so that he can face Osiris, have his heart weighed against a feather, and proceed to the afterlife to be with his long-dead family.

Yes, really.

Also of note is a touching musical number sung by Oscar the Grouch to a bunch of broken statues.

It seems really bizarre, now that I think about it.

Next on my list to procure:
- Electric Grandmother
- The Rise and Rise of Daniel Rocket
- The entirety of the series Mysterious Cities of Gold (I had these on burned VCD at one point, but they've been long since lost.)
07 November 2009 @ 02:44 pm
A better picture of my Halloween costume, in that you can actually see my awful leg tattoos, drawn in eyeliner and body marker:

If you look closely, you can see "The Scream" on my upper right thigh. It took several days to scrub that off.

And a close up of my ankle, drawn by praenomenal.

(pictures courtesy of bellybalt)
06 November 2009 @ 10:38 am
I don't watch a lot of TV, but I'm excited about these two things:

- Season 2 of Legend of the Seeker starts tomorrow. I can't believe that it's still on the air, honestly.

- A show based on Michio Kaku's fantastic book Physics of the Impossible starts on the Science Channel on 12/1.
02 November 2009 @ 02:02 pm
I just finished my damnportlanders Tag Team assignment - tagging July & August 2009.

That's a grand total of 1,480 posts. Tagged approximately 9 out of every 10. That's 1,332 tagged posts!

I feel accomplished.

The project is coming along well. :)

28 October 2009 @ 10:44 am
Many thanks for buying me a paid account extension. I will try to post interesting stuff and make it worth your while. :)
27 October 2009 @ 07:26 pm
27 October 2009 @ 09:40 am
I normally don't repost email forwards and such, but this was pretty amusing.

It’s that time of year again when Americans like to scare themselves with ghosts, goblins and the rest of Halloween’s spooky tomfoolery. You might call it an annual fear fest, but are these truly our worst fears? Of course not. To find qualms that really make our skin crawl, we need to dig a little deeper, so take a look at these Sun sign nightmares and see if they don’t send a shiver up your spine...

(March 21 - April 19)

You are at the end of a long line hiking up a tall mountain. The group’s leaders are Virgos, arguing about which way to go, while everyone else plods along at a snail’s pace. You’re going to have to push your way to the head of the line and stage a coup … or tear your hair out. Which will it be?

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Wait a minute … whose car is that in your garage? Okay, the one you had was breaking down every other day and you were thinking about replacing it … but it was a comfy jalopy and, besides, you hadn’t finished your research. Now someone has gone and made up your mind for you. That’s not fair!

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Can’t someone change that muzak? If orchestral string covers weren’t bad enough, you work in a room all alone, your iPhone is dead and you can’t get your browser to load. Communication breakdown … your private version of hell … has finally come true.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
As you open your door, your friends shout “Surprise!” It’s your birthday and they’ve got an all-you night planned. As you squeeze between co-workers you barely know, they start projecting a PowerPoint featuring your naked baby pictures, every bad hairdo and ugly date you’ve ever had, plus your fat phase.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Amidst booing and hissing, olives and cocktail umbrellas flying through the air … you’re cowering on a karaoke stage after what you thought was a knockout rendition of Wild Thing. Returning to your table, you find your date has bailed and left a napkin note telling you what a complete loser you are.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You’re behind a counter, facing a long line of angry customers waiting to tell you in detail about everything that’s wrong with the product you designed. That’s right, the one you slaved over for years and were sure would be a best seller. They don’t want exchanges or refunds … they want your head!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your partner’s quirks have been gnawing on your last nerve for what seems like eons. You’re about to explode when … sure enough, like clockwork … he/she pulls one more stunt. Arms flailing, screaming at the top of your lungs, you lunge for his/her throat. So much for your famous emotional control, Libra.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You trust your new sweetie implicitly, but that doesn’t keep you from indulging in a little snooping while he/she is in the shower. Rummaging through bedside drawers, you discover a set of sexy underwear you’ve never seen before. Two can play at this game, you vow, as you plot your revenge.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
The jury has come back with its verdict and you’re guilty. You’ll be spending the next decade of your life in one place. But don’t worry … it’s a minimum-security prison with a lovely view of the freeway. You can still dream about all the places you’ll travel when you get parole.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Who’s that waving his finger in your face? Why, it’s that guy you used to supervise before your job was outsourced. Now you’re wearing stonewashed jeans and sitting at a tiny workstation in a row of cubicles that never ends. What happened to your Gucci suits and private corner office?

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
A security guard meets you at the entrance to your new workplace and whisks you away to a room where you undergo a complete makeover. When you’re finally escorted into your new office, you discover everyone looks exactly like you. Next on your newbie schedule … brainwashing!

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You hear a loud knocking on your door and open it to find three IRS men ready to rip into your tax return. They want you to account for every latte expense you listed and are suspicious of your self-employed income too. Tearfully, you open the shoebox where you shoved your receipts to face the sorting and organizing you dread.

20 October 2009 @ 03:22 pm
Also, you know it's bad when you get an email with the subject "(Old Friend From High School) tagged a photo of you on Facebook."

Worst. Prom. EVER.

Can you guess which one was my date?

Nope, not the girl (Ariel), although I borrowed my dress from her. Not the creepy guy behind me, either. No, it was the dude with the hat in the upper right corner. It was more or less a blind date, as I couldn't find anyone to go to the prom with me (sad, I know). He was annoying as hell. I spent the entire night trying to ditch him. This picture was taken at the after-party, where I had a really dreadful allergy attack.

Hard to believe that was more than 10 years ago.
14 October 2009 @ 04:04 pm
I shared this on Google Reader, but it was just too unsettling not to post it here too.


Apparently over 2000 people have dreamt of him.

Edit: It's apparently some Italian viral marketing thing. Still creepy, though.
09 October 2009 @ 01:24 pm
I'd really like to do something social tonight, but I also really need a bike-less day. Would anyone be interested in coming over for drinks, movies, games, Rock Band, etc?
05 October 2009 @ 12:15 pm
Day 3 of biking to work. It's already getting a little easier, although I'm still dreadfully slow (I think I must have been passed a couple dozen times this morning). Also, it's nice that the trip into downtown is almost all downhill, since I'm typically surly and lazy in the morning. Haven't yet gotten the hang of getting home in decent time (it really shouldn't take me an hour to ride 8 miles), but I suppose that will come with practice.

In other news, I FINALLY saw Wall-E this weekend. Cried like a little bitch, of course. I suppose I'm a sucker for stories about irrational, improbable love. Maybe in six months, I'll get around to seeing Up.

Alter Egos: Ceasefire is this weekend and I have no idea what to wear. I guess I can always reprise The Eyesore, but that feels like such a cop-out. I also don't have a Halloween costume, nor any good ideas for one.
02 October 2009 @ 12:05 pm
Got a 1-on-1 with fixedd this evening. May show up later for 80s dancing, but it'll depend on how sore my legs are (right now they are very sore).

Then Loney Dear is tomorrow, my heart soars! Also possibly helping Malcolm move, and some cleaning and getting ready for my guest that arrives in two weeks.

Other than that, not much. If you'd like to get together for drinks/safety/whatevs, you know how to reach me.
30 September 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Now, possibly more than ever before, I have no clear idea of what I am or what I'm trying to be. Tara says this means that I am probably MORE myself than ever, because I'm not clinging to so many labels anymore. When I try to peer into the probabilities of my future, everything beyond a month or so from now is extremely murky. Nothing is certain in any way - not my job, not my relationship status, not my home, not my friends, not my projects. I am almost completely free-floating, and I don't even know how to deal with it.

But this is life, I guess - learning to get used to the notion that there is no security, no real safety to be found anywhere in this world.

I'm coming to realize that I've never had a strong sense of identity, and in truth, I guess I don't even really have any idea of what identity is in the first place. When you peel off all the layers of what you DO, you should be left with what you ARE, right? But how does one define that, anyway?

How do YOU define your identity? What makes you uniquely you? What is it you cling to, when you have nothing else?
28 September 2009 @ 11:04 am
Wasted most of the weekend either asleep or in a funk, although it was somewhat brightened by going for drinks with yoopie and alana_ash on Saturday evening, then watching Little Miss Sunshine last night with the doomies.

Spent a lot of time thinking about how I've been slacking off on a lot of my projects, since I've been feeling rather worn-thin as of late. I suppose I've had decent enough excuses, but at some point I have to get myself back on track. Staying up talking on the phone until 3am most nights isn't helping much either, although I really don't want to cut back on that right now, as it's been my one reliable comfort through all the recent madness.

I haven't finished any recordings in months (although I'm still making progress, little by little, at least), and I have 4 or 5 songs that need to be written. Really, I think I need to get back to the piano. I've gotten so overwhelmed and frustrated with arranging and tweaking and obsessing over tiny errors that I've lost my central focus: at the heart of it all, it has to be about me and the piano. It's cliche, I know, but I don't care.

When October begins on Thursday, I won't be buying a monthly bus pass, which will both save money and force me to bike the 8 miles to work everyday. I'm hoping this will kick-start my metabolism. I have gotten a few remarks in the last couple weeks that people have noticed that I've lost weight, which seems funny to me because I've been such a slug recently. I definitely need to get out dancing again - but I'd like to maybe find places to go that are a little closer to home. Are there any decent clubs and/or dance nights in N/NE?

It appears that I'll be going home to Fresno sometime around Christmas. I don't know exactly when or for how long. I'll post an update when I know more.

Due to the whole work business, I'm going to be pretty much broke from here on out, unless I manage to find a new job. I'm still going to try to 1-on-1 with people, but we'll have to meet at places that are very very inexpensive.

Speaking of which, I've got an open 1-on-1 slot for tomorrow night, anyone want to get together?
19 September 2009 @ 10:58 pm
There's a really excellent twitter called Shit My Dad Says, which is exactly what it sounds like - some guy tweeting shit his smart-ass elderly father says. On the feed today, the quote was, "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you." It got me to thinking about the strange duality of control over one's life - how in one way you control everything, and in another you control nothing. Both at the same time.

Sometimes I feel like I went into a coma at age 16 and have simply dreamed up the remainder of my life, never really learning or absorbing much of anything significant through my experience, because none of it is real.

This isn't always a bad thing, though, because it makes me look at my world and think, "Wow, if that's true, it means that this is the life I imagined for myself, the ideal life for me - an environment where I am both challenged and supported."

In fact, I think the world might be a little better if MORE people believed that what they perceive as reality is really just a fictional land that they can create and manipulate. We might not feel quite so helpless.

I think most people feel very helpless most of the time, but nobody wants to admit it. Even the wealthy CEO of a big company knows that his future is in the hands of the market. Even the world's best doctor knows that he can't always save every patient. No one is above the laws of fate, it's one of many things that connects us to each other.

But at the same time, no fate is above the laws of us. Every little thing you do is the starting point of a ripple that extends and expands into the future. We are the product of the choices of millions of people who came before us, and the shapes of our lifetimes are bounded and refracted by the waves they made.

How many future-dwellers will shape their lives by your choices?
Current Music: Avenged Sevenfold - Seize the Day | Powered by Last.fm
16 September 2009 @ 10:17 pm
This link is dangerous for you to click: http://bsidesrus.blogspot.com/
Tags: ,
16 September 2009 @ 08:00 pm
When and where did you meet me?
And what was your first reaction to me?

And two unrelated questions of my own:

What interests do you and I share?
What does that say about us?
15 September 2009 @ 01:34 pm
So we've been brainstorming a devious plan:


Why? Because we know a bunch of good photographers and lots of hot, HOT ladies. Also we need booze money. Et pourquoi non?

Which would you most like to see as the theme?

Pin-up girls
The months

Other suggestions?


Would you like to be involved as a ...

15 September 2009 @ 09:40 am

Hey, I AM a big fan of Baader-Meinhof.
And then it occurred to me that a dramatic shift had happened in my life - suddenly it no longer seemed compelling to write here about my wacky drunken antics, my goals, topics of interest - and I found myself only wanting to write about personal, intimate topics that I really have no business sharing with the world, and so I'm beginning to successfully talk myself out of it.

For my entire life, it's been a fairly integral part of my identity to have this crazy fervent desire to share myself with the world at large - to the point where I felt completely suffocated, as silly as it sounds, during the blackout period of 2003/04 when I couldn't blog - what does it mean that this desire is waning for the first time? Is this signaling the beginning of the end of my blogging days? Or will things just shift in a new direction, find a new balance?

And what else is strange is that it feels like it's already passé to express the idea that I don't feel like myself anymore... like even the person I became after the Click three months ago has become entirely foreign, and the me from before that seems so far away that I can't even remember what it was like to be her - as if I was a caterpillar, then a butterfly, and now I'm only the crystallized image of a butterfly in someone's imagination, having exited the realm of the real.

And the truly bizarre thing is, even though my identity keeps getting more abstract and untethered, I also feel stronger and more confident than I ever have. The extreme manic highs have definitely dulled down, but so have the lows, and in general I feel pretty zen about things - which is mindboggling to me, considering what's going down in my life presently.